A Writers Bible (an extract, anyway)

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The worst ways to begin your novel

  

The write life offers feedback from literary agents on what they don’t like to see in the opening of a novel.

The Worst Ways to Begin Your Novel: Advice from Literary Agents

My blog is dead: Part 2

See original post, My Blog is dead 

Every once in a while my blog goes through a dry spell. By dry spell, I mean periods of time when I literally don’t post anything. Nothing. Nada. Zit. Don’t get me wrong, it’s generally NOT because I can’t be assed, but usually because real life prevails.

What I do find, however, is that my blog usually just slips back on like an old slipper. I’ll conjur up something to say months after my last post, format it, find an amusingly relevant image, smugly hit the publish button and ride the likes and views roller coaster.

Usually.

Recently though, it seems different. It had been about 8 months since I properly posted a blog on my site. Yeah, I would reblog and recycle old and popular blogs to ensure it still had a pulse, but that was pretty much it. But, as I mentioned, this time it seems different. That old slipper doesn’t seem to fit so well these days. My blogs aren’t getting as many views or as many likes, for that matter.

My following remains strong, in fact, it’s grown over the last 8 months in conjunction with my Twitter account.

So what’s changed? Where is the blogging defibrillator?

I know, I know, stop obsessing over the stats and numbers and focus on the writing.

Please come back, Blog. I promise I won’t leave you as long, ever!

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6 Certanties if John McClane was YOUR Dad

 1. School bullies & strict teachers would give you a wide steer. You’d strut around school as if you owned it. Everybody (or those who had any sense) would rather believe that you did not exist, it’s probably better off that way. For them.

  2. Being dropped off to school, particularly if you were running late, would consist of a high speed chase against the clock through town, through the public park finalised by leaping off a bridge, possibly through a helicopter before stopping outside school with seconds to spare. The car most likely would be a commandeered taxi of sorts. It’s just quicker that way.

 3. Christmas time would generally be a dangerous, if not, exciting time for the family. Visits to the store, airports or office parties would most likely end up in a terrorist situation, meaning that you will more than likely be held hostage and need rescuing by your dad. 

4. You would be subjected to constant one liner jokes most of the day, that would cleverly fit in with the current situation. Your friends would find this funny. You, would not.

5. Walking around town could result in stares, as your dad walks around in a dirty white vest with gun holsters and possibly, bleeding bare feet. Yeah, it’s laundry day.
 6. You would never find yourself stranded if out with your dad. Luckily, that’s because the ability to commandeer any coincidental passing vehicle or aircraft comes naturally. Apparently.

Read 12 things we learned from Die Hard.