Search

Al Graham

Author & Blogger

Tag

Humour

You’ve got to love summer time…

 
Wasps in your pint and uncooked sausages off the BBQ, while students play guitar, badly, in the park, during which your allergies are sent through the roof from the smell of freshly cut grass.

Advertisements

6 Certanties if John McClane was YOUR Dad

 1. School bullies & strict teachers would give you a wide steer. You’d strut around school as if you owned it. Everybody (or those who had any sense) would rather believe that you did not exist, it’s probably better off that way. For them.

  2. Being dropped off to school, particularly if you were running late, would consist of a high speed chase against the clock through town, through the public park finalised by leaping off a bridge, possibly through a helicopter before stopping outside school with seconds to spare. The car most likely would be a commandeered taxi of sorts. It’s just quicker that way.

 3. Christmas time would generally be a dangerous, if not, exciting time for the family. Visits to the store, airports or office parties would most likely end up in a terrorist situation, meaning that you will more than likely be held hostage and need rescuing by your dad. 

4. You would be subjected to constant one liner jokes most of the day, that would cleverly fit in with the current situation. Your friends would find this funny. You, would not.

5. Walking around town could result in stares, as your dad walks around in a dirty white vest with gun holsters and possibly, bleeding bare feet. Yeah, it’s laundry day.
 6. You would never find yourself stranded if out with your dad. Luckily, that’s because the ability to commandeer any coincidental passing vehicle or aircraft comes naturally. Apparently.

Read 12 things we learned from Die Hard.

Good reads for bed time

 

Today’s #funnypic 3

Rolland was certain by now, that the pack were yanking his tail!

See more #funnypic’s

This is NOT a drill!

 
You hear that, people?

That’s the fire alarm! You know, it could potentially mean the building is burning down around us. We could all be trapped and sent to our toasted graves.

No, you CANNOT continue your shopping.

No, you CANNOT “just quickly pay for your vagisil”

No, you CANNOT take your trolley full of unpaid shopping outside and wait for the fire brigade.

No, you CANNOT quickly finish your coffee.

Please stop pretending to be ignorant. If you do not understand the sound of a fire alarm, then I’m sorry, you should not be out on your own.

I don’t care if you’ve only popped in quickly for one item.

And for the love of God, people, use the nearest fire exit! Why are you walking the whole length of the building to walk out of the exit door?

Ladies & gentleman, this is NOT a drill!

Dear Smokers; A #Bloggers plea


If you choose to smoke, I have no problem. I have never smoked, nor have I had the inclination to damage my health to the point that it will one day kill me. I have neither had the wish to walk around stinking like a walking ashtray and killing small animals if I happen to breathe in their direction.

Please stop standing around entrances to public places in groups where I have to battle my way through and inhale 60 cigarettes in the process. It defeats the purpose to the smoking ban!

Please stop pleading ignorance and selfishly striking up a cigarette in public places that happen to be outdoors (ie. Garden centres, outdoor swimming areas) they are still public and still subject to the smoking ban. You walked through an indoor building to get to them!

I cannot stand selfishness and / or ignorance.

Thank you,

-ABB

Today’s #Funnypic 2

  
Lemmy & Lime were late for their game of squash.

Today’s #Funnypics 

  
Lemon felt Chef took it too far when he stopped him & Lime from arguing.

#Imageoftheday Lost

  
Peggy fell from the washing line and pegged it across the patio.

See more #Imageoftheday

Blog at WordPress.com.

Up ↑