1. School bullies & strict teachers would give you a wide steer. You’d strut around school as if you owned it. Everybody (or those who had any sense) would rather believe that you did not exist, it’s probably better off that way. For them.
2. Being dropped off to school, particularly if you were running late, would consist of a high speed chase against the clock through town, through the public park finalised by leaping off a bridge, possibly through a helicopter before stopping outside school with seconds to spare. The car most likely would be a commandeered taxi of sorts. It’s just quicker that way.
3. Christmas time would generally be a dangerous, if not, exciting time for the family. Visits to the store, airports or office parties would most likely end up in a terrorist situation, meaning that you will more than likely be held hostage and need rescuing by your dad.
5. Walking around town could result in stares, as your dad walks around in a dirty white vest with gun holsters and possibly, bleeding bare feet. Yeah, it’s laundry day.
6. You would never find yourself stranded if out with your dad. Luckily, that’s because the ability to commandeer any coincidental passing vehicle or aircraft comes naturally. Apparently.
Rolland was certain by now, that the pack were yanking his tail!
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That’s the fire alarm! You know, it could potentially mean the building is burning down around us. We could all be trapped and sent to our toasted graves.
No, you CANNOT continue your shopping.
No, you CANNOT “just quickly pay for your vagisil”
No, you CANNOT take your trolley full of unpaid shopping outside and wait for the fire brigade.
No, you CANNOT quickly finish your coffee.
Please stop pretending to be ignorant. If you do not understand the sound of a fire alarm, then I’m sorry, you should not be out on your own.
I don’t care if you’ve only popped in quickly for one item.
And for the love of God, people, use the nearest fire exit! Why are you walking the whole length of the building to walk out of the exit door?
Ladies & gentleman, this is NOT a drill!
If you choose to smoke, I have no problem. I have never smoked, nor have I had the inclination to damage my health to the point that it will one day kill me. I have neither had the wish to walk around stinking like a walking ashtray and killing small animals if I happen to breathe in their direction.
Please stop standing around entrances to public places in groups where I have to battle my way through and inhale 60 cigarettes in the process. It defeats the purpose to the smoking ban!
Please stop pleading ignorance and selfishly striking up a cigarette in public places that happen to be outdoors (ie. Garden centres, outdoor swimming areas) they are still public and still subject to the smoking ban. You walked through an indoor building to get to them!
I cannot stand selfishness and / or ignorance.