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Al Graham

Author & Blogger

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Lifestyle

Why I’m hitting a bloggers wall

 
I have been suffering with bloggers block for months and months.  I just can’t seem to climb over that big brick wall that’s cemented itself in front of me. Why?There’s a number of reasons. Probably too many to list on this particular post. But, you know what? I’ll give it a go:

1. I’m getting married in 3 weeks to this day. Any free time I have between now and then is literally filled with pre marital errands. My wife to be, is currently a bubbling pot of firey stress lava ready to errupt and explode any minute. I don’t protest.

2. We go on our honey moon 2 days after the wedding. See above.

3. My 18 month old son has entered the terrible two’s early. If I’m finished with all my pre marital and honeymoon chores, my son ensures that any ounce of free time I have is filled with chasing him around the house, cleaning, tidying, games, more tidying, games, playing, more cleaning and watching Toy Story on a continuous loop!

4. I have a full time job. Like most of you out there, I’d rather be writing for a living, but reality says otherwise. I have to go out and face the grind on a daily basis, if I want to feed my family, that is!

5. I’m exhausted! My prime time for doing any writing or blogging would be a few hours before bed when the house is quiet and calm. Lately though, with everything that’s been going on, we’re giving it big Z’s soon after the miniature monster goes to bed!

6. Am I just out of ideas? Hundreds of posts and likes, and thousands of views later, has my blogging fire just naturally extinguished? 

Excuse me folks, I’m heading out to try and scale this hideous wall. Again!

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This is NOT a drill!

 
You hear that, people?

That’s the fire alarm! You know, it could potentially mean the building is burning down around us. We could all be trapped and sent to our toasted graves.

No, you CANNOT continue your shopping.

No, you CANNOT “just quickly pay for your vagisil”

No, you CANNOT take your trolley full of unpaid shopping outside and wait for the fire brigade.

No, you CANNOT quickly finish your coffee.

Please stop pretending to be ignorant. If you do not understand the sound of a fire alarm, then I’m sorry, you should not be out on your own.

I don’t care if you’ve only popped in quickly for one item.

And for the love of God, people, use the nearest fire exit! Why are you walking the whole length of the building to walk out of the exit door?

Ladies & gentleman, this is NOT a drill!

Dear Smokers; A #Bloggers plea


If you choose to smoke, I have no problem. I have never smoked, nor have I had the inclination to damage my health to the point that it will one day kill me. I have neither had the wish to walk around stinking like a walking ashtray and killing small animals if I happen to breathe in their direction.

Please stop standing around entrances to public places in groups where I have to battle my way through and inhale 60 cigarettes in the process. It defeats the purpose to the smoking ban!

Please stop pleading ignorance and selfishly striking up a cigarette in public places that happen to be outdoors (ie. Garden centres, outdoor swimming areas) they are still public and still subject to the smoking ban. You walked through an indoor building to get to them!

I cannot stand selfishness and / or ignorance.

Thank you,

-ABB

#Imageoftheday Almost there!

  

Help needed! WordPress has perplexed me

  
While looking at my blog stat reports, the number of followers differs from the amount shown on my blog website (Join *** other followers).

Now, we’re not just talking a few, there’s a difference of almost 150 followers. 150 MORE reported on on my blog webpage compared to the number reported on my stats page. 

I Know that some followers signed up by email, rather than click following, but I’m not sure if this affects the stats ability to report.
Can anybody who has ever come across this on WordPress please shine some light?
Thank you in advance,
-ABB

Who do you think you are?

You try to control everything. You tell me what size my house can be.

You tell me what car to drive & how often I can drive it.

You scrutinise my grocery shopping, so much so, it’s a painful errand.

I’ll wear only what you say I can.

I’ll go where you say and go when you say.

Fine, I won’t go on holiday this year.

Dear Money, I hate you.

-ABB

Where to find Blog ideas

Writers-block

I don’t know.  Where do you find them?  I’m sure we can all relate to that burning desire of wanting to blog, but you hit a big brick wall.  Sometimes it literally just comes to you when you’re driving, working, feeding the baby or scratching your ass.  The truth is, there is no answer to finding blog ideas.  We can utilise ideas from fellow bloggers, write about something or somebody who really got on your wick today, why wouldn’t the baby stop crying, why is your boss such a tool or why did the paint take so long to dry in my bedroom?

Some will win, some will fail.  But, thats the nature of the blogging beast, isn’t it?

I’ve hit something of a dry spell recently.  Ideas for blogs have been few and far between.

So, I thought, I’ll write a blog about how I don’t have any ideas for blogging.  Hmmm, hardly going to set the WordPress App alight.  I then thought I’d compile a list from my top five blogging ideas data banks.

1. Interactions with extremely annoying, rude or obnoxious people.

See That really gets my goat: Ignorant idiots or 10 reasons why I really don’t like you!

2. Success with something I really have an interest in and wish to share.

See 13 Top tips to becoming a successful writer

3. A great days blogging

See 100 and counting and 500 and counting

4. Blogging dry spells

See My blog is dead

5. My love of creative writing

See Fiction posts

Where do you find your blogging and article ideas? I am genuinely interested in what makes the rest of the blogging world tick.  Please comment below.

 

 

 

Answers every Retail worker wants to give

Dumb Customer

Q: “Excuse me, do you work here?”

A: “No, I absolutely love this mass produced, sweat box uniform, so I just wear it for the crack.  Also, I love voluntarily getting on my knees in random stores and helping out obnoxious, rude people for free.”

Matrix Prices

Q: “How much is this?”

A: “Hmm, I don’t know.  Let me just consult my onboard computer and access my worldwide price App that I have built in.  I had no idea I looked like a walking price-list, I must talk to my plastic surgeon.”

logo

Q: “Where are the toilets?”

A: “Well, if you follow the huge directional signs that this particular company has spent thousands of pounds on perfecting to ensure people like you can find them, it’ll take you right there.  I know, I know, its extremely silly of me to think that you could lift your head and look for yourself.”

stupid and rude

Q: “Excuse me, to save me looking, could you tell me where A, B & C are kept?”

A: “Of course, of course.  I’ll save you the trouble of looking and do your shopping for you.  It’s a terrible ordeal this shopping carry on, I couldn’t expect you to look for your required items on your own.  Actually, aren’t you the person who recently asked where the toilets were?”

complaint

Q: “Can you put another checkout on? I’ve been waiting for 10 minutes!”

A: “First of all, 10 minutes is an extreme exaggeration, you only just joined a queue of 2 people.  Secondly, if you could just stop thinking about your arrogant self and your pointless little errands that you have to get on with, as I know that you’re an extremely important and busy person and the world revolves around you, you’ll notice that the employee behind the till is working very hard to get customers through quickly and efficently and does not deserve any kind of rude behaviour from you”

manager

Q: “This is a disgrace, let me speak to the Manager!”

A: “The manager is actually very busy at the moment, dealing with more important issues and customers who have genuine complaints and manners.  Also, the manager will most likely stick to the answer or decision that I have made as you are acting like a spoiled child and believe that you can make unreasonable demands to little people shop workers, like me.”

“Is there anything else I can help you with today?” – (asked with a smile)

Did you enjoy what you read? If you did or even if you didn’t, please share your thoughts and feedback by liking or commenting on this post. Why don’t you follow my blog for similar posts and articles.

 

 

 

If only my words would set me free…

00847-funny-cartoons-writers

 

 

My legs hurt, my back aches and my head pounds.  My feet hurt, I’m exhausted and I’m incredibly cranky.  What is it that is wrong with me, why do I feel like a train wreck on such an, otherwise, lovely day?

I’m just home from another gruelling day at work.  My job.  My families roof and food provider.  My means to survive.  My lifestyle maintainence.

Don’t get me wrong, I have a great job.  It pays well and its very satisfying.  I am responsible for leading, managing and developing a large team of people.  I’m accountable for ensuring the satisfaction of thousands of customers on a weekly basis.  But, I have to answer to my boss, and his boss and his boss and his boss…

I’m tired and beaten.

I want to write.  I want to create imaginary worlds that people can disappear into.  I want to write insightful, useful articles to help people.  I want my words to be my means of living and surviving.

I AM a writer, but. I want TO BE a writer.

I won’t ever give up.

#livetowritewritetolive

 

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