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1. School bullies & strict teachers would give you a wide steer. You’d strut around school as if you owned it. Everybody (or those who had any sense) would rather believe that you did not exist, it’s probably better off that way. For them.
2. Being dropped off to school, particularly if you were running late, would consist of a high speed chase against the clock through town, through the public park finalised by leaping off a bridge, possibly through a helicopter before stopping outside school with seconds to spare. The car most likely would be a commandeered taxi of sorts. It’s just quicker that way.
3. Christmas time would generally be a dangerous, if not, exciting time for the family. Visits to the store, airports or office parties would most likely end up in a terrorist situation, meaning that you will more than likely be held hostage and need rescuing by your dad.
5. Walking around town could result in stares, as your dad walks around in a dirty white vest with gun holsters and possibly, bleeding bare feet. Yeah, it’s laundry day.
6. You would never find yourself stranded if out with your dad. Luckily, that’s because the ability to commandeer any coincidental passing vehicle or aircraft comes naturally. Apparently.
I have been suffering with bloggers block for months and months. I just can’t seem to climb over that big brick wall that’s cemented itself in front of me. Why?There’s a number of reasons. Probably too many to list on this particular post. But, you know what? I’ll give it a go:
1. I’m getting married in 3 weeks to this day. Any free time I have between now and then is literally filled with pre marital errands. My wife to be, is currently a bubbling pot of firey stress lava ready to errupt and explode any minute. I don’t protest.
2. We go on our honey moon 2 days after the wedding. See above.
3. My 18 month old son has entered the terrible two’s early. If I’m finished with all my pre marital and honeymoon chores, my son ensures that any ounce of free time I have is filled with chasing him around the house, cleaning, tidying, games, more tidying, games, playing, more cleaning and watching Toy Story on a continuous loop!
4. I have a full time job. Like most of you out there, I’d rather be writing for a living, but reality says otherwise. I have to go out and face the grind on a daily basis, if I want to feed my family, that is!
5. I’m exhausted! My prime time for doing any writing or blogging would be a few hours before bed when the house is quiet and calm. Lately though, with everything that’s been going on, we’re giving it big Z’s soon after the miniature monster goes to bed!
6. Am I just out of ideas? Hundreds of posts and likes, and thousands of views later, has my blogging fire just naturally extinguished?
Excuse me folks, I’m heading out to try and scale this hideous wall. Again!